I'm Attached to My Laptop

... Just give me a wireless router and I'm good to go.

So my friend and I were talking about our plans for success and discussing what we wanted to do with our futures. Nevertheless, I am also a Google addict. I google EVERYTHING-- dumb shit, scientifically proven shit, shit on TV, shit I'm reading about and shit that somebody I know thinks they know but I want to prove them wrong [did you catch that?].

So naturally, he's talking about his ish, I'm talking about mine and I decide to Google "how to be a mogul" and I actually found an article on how to be a mogul!

Step1-Decide on your area of mogul-ship. If you own a fleet of ships or a worldwide telecommunications business, you are already off to a good start. If not, it's time to get a move on. Immediately take over a small business or country.

Step2-Get the word out. Proclaim yourself to be a mogul at every given opportunity. Go on lots of talk shows. Start random fights with heiresses or daytime TVhosts. Remember any press is good press when establishing your "moguliciousness."

Step3-Expand and multiply. To be a successful mogul, you do not necessarily need to be the best at what you do, only the biggest. Develop a brand name and slap it on everything you can – bottled water, cat food, online dating services, cheese, you name it.

Step4-Eliminate all competition. It's not enough to simply be the best and biggest in your chosen field of expertise, you must also ensure that no one else even thinks of doing the same thing. Start practicing corporate takeovers, or coups, as the case may be.

Step5-Develop a snazzy look. Do you think Donald Trump or Fidel Castro would have gotten where they are today without a sense of style? Weigh the pros and cons of a comb-over, or reviving the trucker hat.

Click here to read the original

and don't forget to learn how to raise a mogul here